Healing from Infidelity
Are you trying to cope with the repercussions of your infidelity or your partner’s betrayal?
It is possible to emerge from betrayal with your marriage stronger. You can also learn to steer clear of such dangerous waters in the future – if you both genuinely want to heal and are ready to do the serious work of repair.
Can a couple survive infidelity?
The answer is yes, - if each of you is willing to look honestly at yourself and your partner, and acquire and apply the skills and strategies you will need to emerge from this crisis.
It’s hard to believe that your marriage can be better and stronger after an affair.
It’s true, if you learn to successfully navigate the nightmarish days following discovery, the traumatic reactions of the betrayed spouse, the revelation of details, and the period of construction, as you rebuild your relationship, brick by brick.
Rebuilding trust is the cornerstone of the recovery process.
It’s a difficult road, but passable and well-traveled for all its difficulties. It’s important to know it’s there for you and anyone who wants to follow it.
The most complete healing happens gradually, in stages.
There are steps you can take to repair your relationship after emotional or sexual infidelity has rocked it, and there are things you can do to help yourself through the trauma of betrayal.
These days, more couples are willing to work through their difficulties in a sustained way. They desire to make their marriages even better than before.
These couples want their suffering to mean something. They want their pain to lead them to new insights and behaviors that will strengthen them as individuals and as a couple.
However, most people need help learning how to change the bitterness of betrayal into fertile ground for growth. A couple needs practical, constructive ways to understand and confront what has happened and to repair damage that is shattering their hearts and ruining their relationship.
With conscious, patient work, you become able to manage and get through the many difficult questions that keep surfacing:
- Will I ever be able to trust my partner again?
- Will my partner ever forgive me?
- How do I forgive?
- Why can’t my partner just get over it?
- How do we handle the Other Man or Other Woman who keeps calling?
- Should I share my messages?
- What do we tell the children?
- How should we handle the moments of pain that continue to intrude months and years afterward?
- Is it possible for us to get back to the way we were?
We came to see Patti at the worst time of my life - I found out my husband had been cheating. She's helped us make our our marriage better. We had a lot to learn, it turns out, but we are making progress. I can't believe we are getting through this nightmare, but it is possible!
Do I end my marriage?
Even if you swore you would never stay with a cheater, you may now be surprised or shocked to find that you are considering staying. You might even feel that you are betraying yourself on top of your partner’s betrayal.
One size does not fit all and there may be many valid reasons for you to consider staying. There may also be valid reasons for you to leave. Be patient with yourself.
If you decide to stay, I can help you in the process of healing, recovering, and rebuilding. If you choose not to continue your marriage, you still must recover from the trauma you’ve experienced.
The road of recovery can be a catalyst for growth, whether traveled with your partner or on your own.